Now accepting invitations to barbecues!
Greetings!
The summer season of 2007 is upon us. I am proud to announce that I, Matthew Koff, have begun accepting invitations to barbecues. That's right, any kind of cookout, be small, large, daytime, nighttime, weekend, weekday. Be it a luau, a live pork-pulling, Mayan ritualistic sacrifice, WHATEVER. Don't fret, you're always welcome, to invite me.
MATTKOFF.COM BARBECUE INVITE F.A.Q.
Are you handy with a grill?
Am I handy with a grill? Maybe this will answer your question.
Yup 3 hours of practice 365 days a year in all kinds weather comes at a price. But then again, they don't call me "Hot Dog Hands Koff" for nothing. (Just make sure that you have Weber Limited Edition 2003 Genesis Q-Master, that's the only kind of grill I operate on.)
The summer season of 2007 is upon us. I am proud to announce that I, Matthew Koff, have begun accepting invitations to barbecues. That's right, any kind of cookout, be small, large, daytime, nighttime, weekend, weekday. Be it a luau, a live pork-pulling, Mayan ritualistic sacrifice, WHATEVER. Don't fret, you're always welcome, to invite me.
MATTKOFF.COM BARBECUE INVITE F.A.Q.
Are you handy with a grill?
Am I handy with a grill? Maybe this will answer your question.
Yup 3 hours of practice 365 days a year in all kinds weather comes at a price. But then again, they don't call me "Hot Dog Hands Koff" for nothing. (Just make sure that you have Weber Limited Edition 2003 Genesis Q-Master, that's the only kind of grill I operate on.)
Um, I'm just having a small gathering with some close friends. Also, I barely know you.
Listen, I understand your reservation. A lot of people get caught up in what I like to call "The Wild Card Factor." --i.e. not knowing me. But please, DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM INVITING ME. Just say the word, and I'll promise to drink and eat enough that by the end of the first hour I'll be passed out on the bench behind the serving table. Everybody wins.
Umm, you stole my girlfriend.
Hey, I appreciate your concern that I might feel weird because of what happened with Heather, but that was like 5 years ago. Total water under the bridge. Invite away!
My barbecue is BYOB.
NEXT.
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So you see, there's absolutely no reason, short of me having to bring something, that you should feel reluctant to invite me. If you have any other question, feel free to fax me at (718) HOT-DOGHANDSKOFF between the hours of 2 and 5 am.
Matt and Some Guy have fun, as some other guy looks on (Aug. 2005)
This entry was posted by Matt, on
Friday, May 25, 2007.
You can leave your response.
May 30, 2007 12:11 PM
hey I don't throw bbq's that often but you're more than welcome to come to my next house party! come alone or bring some friends! I'll keep you posted.
June 01, 2007 11:58 AM
Someone's got the right idea! Thanks Soce!