At work, they hand out a calendar every month with people’s birthdays on it. When they handed out this month’s calendar, I noticed something. In the box for March 20th, there is a listing for “Giovanni’s Birthday.” And, underneath “Giovanni’s Birthday,” reads “First day of spring!” with a little smiley face emoticon.

Look, I’m not trying to badmouth Giovanni here—from the few times I’ve spoken with him, I can tell he is a very nice individual. However, Giovanni’s birthday is not the first day of spring. The first day of spring is March 21st. March 20th is not. What March 20th is, is the last miserable day of winter.

I understand why they did this. “Well, we’re celebrating Giovanni’s birthday, let’s just celebrate the beginning of spring too. After all, it’s only a day away! WOOHOOOOO!” No, it is a world away. March 20th is the day that everyone cannot get through with soon enough. It is the last slushy annoying gasp of the Lion that is Winter, the one that happens just before the whinnies of our old friend Spring Lamb.

Sorry, Giovanni. Your birthday is not the Beatles. Your birthday is the sucky opening band for the Beatles, the one that everyone resents. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth, no matter how Ken the Human Resources director may try to sugarcoat it. If this fact upsets you, then maybe you should move to Florida, where no one cares what season it is anyway. Or you could kill yourself, maybe.

That seems a little rash though. Don't do that.

This entry was posted by Matt, on Sunday, March 26, 2006. You can leave your response.