a short sketch from a while ago
INT. NIGHTTIME--DAN'S KITCHEN
Dan and Pete, two guy's guys, sit at the kitchen table. Dan is giving Pete a manicure.
DAN
And then she says to me, "If you don't give me those keys right now, the only thing YOU'LL be pooping out tomorra is ketchup bottles!"
PETE
Ahahahaha! Ahahaha! She did not say that!
DAN
That's what she said!
PETE
She did not!
DAN
She did! Gospel truth, Buddy! Gospel truth.
Both laugh hysterically. Pete sips a can of beer.
DAN (cont'd)
Ahhh, I love giving manicures.
PETE
Well I love getting manicures!
DAN
Well whatdaya know! It looks we have ourselves a beautiful set-up right here!
PETE
(holds up hands) Literally!
Both characters laugh hysterically.
DAN
Hey pal, don't get too comfortable over there. We switch after I'm done filing this cuticle.
PETE
Okay, okay, a deal's a deal. Hey, I forgot to tell you, the strangest thing happened as I was leaving my house before.
DAN
Oh yeah?
PETE
Yeah! The old lady asked me where I was going. I says "I'm going over to my buddy Dan's." She says, "What? To play poker?" I says, "No, I'm gettin' my nails done." And you wouldn't believe it, she starts rollin' on the floor, practically laughin' her little tush off!
DAN
Fancy that! Did you tell her you weren't joking?
PETE
Nah, I just left.
DAN
Believe me, I know how you feel. All the women at work, they say, "Hey Dan, how do you get your nails to look that nice!" I tell my buddy Pete does a bang-up job and if you really want I could give you his number and he could help you out too--" And as soon as they hear that, they lose interest for some reason. It's like it's a turnoff just because I've found an enjoyable way to save money on manicures.
PETE
Probably just jealous.
DAN
Yeah, probably. Okay, done. Come on, your turn.
PETE
Aww, do I have to?
DAN
A deal's a deal, Chief. Just like you said.
PETE
Hehehe, all right.
Dan and Pete, two guy's guys, sit at the kitchen table. Dan is giving Pete a manicure.
DAN
And then she says to me, "If you don't give me those keys right now, the only thing YOU'LL be pooping out tomorra is ketchup bottles!"
PETE
Ahahahaha! Ahahaha! She did not say that!
DAN
That's what she said!
PETE
She did not!
DAN
She did! Gospel truth, Buddy! Gospel truth.
Both laugh hysterically. Pete sips a can of beer.
DAN (cont'd)
Ahhh, I love giving manicures.
PETE
Well I love getting manicures!
DAN
Well whatdaya know! It looks we have ourselves a beautiful set-up right here!
PETE
(holds up hands) Literally!
Both characters laugh hysterically.
DAN
Hey pal, don't get too comfortable over there. We switch after I'm done filing this cuticle.
PETE
Okay, okay, a deal's a deal. Hey, I forgot to tell you, the strangest thing happened as I was leaving my house before.
DAN
Oh yeah?
PETE
Yeah! The old lady asked me where I was going. I says "I'm going over to my buddy Dan's." She says, "What? To play poker?" I says, "No, I'm gettin' my nails done." And you wouldn't believe it, she starts rollin' on the floor, practically laughin' her little tush off!
DAN
Fancy that! Did you tell her you weren't joking?
PETE
Nah, I just left.
DAN
Believe me, I know how you feel. All the women at work, they say, "Hey Dan, how do you get your nails to look that nice!" I tell my buddy Pete does a bang-up job and if you really want I could give you his number and he could help you out too--" And as soon as they hear that, they lose interest for some reason. It's like it's a turnoff just because I've found an enjoyable way to save money on manicures.
PETE
Probably just jealous.
DAN
Yeah, probably. Okay, done. Come on, your turn.
PETE
Aww, do I have to?
DAN
A deal's a deal, Chief. Just like you said.
PETE
Hehehe, all right.
This entry was posted by Matt, on
Monday, August 29, 2005.
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