2 things i can't fucking believe. I'M SORRY, THEY HAVE BEEN PASSED OFF AS TRUTH BUT I SAY, NO.

#1 is from the daily "Animal Report" on the front page of the amNew York newspaper:

"LIONS TO THE RESCUE

Police say three lions rescued a 12-year-old girl kidnapped by men who want to force her into marriage, chasing off her abductors and guarding her until police and relatives tracked her down in a remote corner of Ethiopia."

My question is, HOW DO THE LIONS KNOW WHO THE GOOD GUYS ARE? Anytime I try to hug my roommate's cat, it bites me. I should get a pet lion. Not only will it be more sensitive to my feelings but it will also protect me from all those men who are trying to force me into marriage.

#2 is from the official twinkie website, www.twinkies.com:

Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.

Repeat:

Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.



Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.
Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.
Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.
Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.
Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.
Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.
Twinkies have a shelf life of 14 days.

I hope that they are talking about the kind of day that was mentioned in Inherit the Wind. Like the kind of day that lasts billions and billions of years, the time it probably took for the human species to develop into the complex creatures they are today...

because Twinkies do NOT last just 14 days.

This entry was posted by Matt, on Thursday, June 23, 2005. You can leave your response.